Our new world can sometimes be hard to navigate. We have online skills that do not translate well offline. And real-world skills that sometimes seem useless online. One talking point that seems ever-present in both worlds is etiquette. Whether on or offline, most of us strive hard to not be offensive to others. Still, we often think of etiquette as an outdated topic or lots of antiquated rules that don’t apply in our modern society. However, what etiquette boils down to is making yourself and others more comfortable by being respectful, kind, and, if applicable, professional. As a matter of course, at Jute & Olive, my focus is on elevating homemaking skills. One of the best skills that a household manager can have is making guests feel comfortable. As you know, there are an array of social rules for any given situation, so I’d like to focus on hosting etiquette.
You’ve gone back and forth about it in your mind for months and finally, you decided that this time you will be the host of the party or get together. But, when should you send out invitations? Surely, you don’t want to send invitations so far in advance that guests forget that they have rsvp’d. You equally don’t want to wait until everyone has possibly made other plans. Whether digital or traditional mail, it is appropriate to send invitations 3 weeks in advance of your event; for the busy holiday season, I would recommend 4 weeks advance notice. And, while we are on the topic of invitations, we should also note that the type of event will determine the kind of invitation to send. Evites are attractive and make it easy to track guest responses and send reminders, however, if you are planning a more formal or upscale event a mailed invitation is best. For small groups and informal gatherings a regular email is fine, however, I still prefer to send a simple Evite even for small gatherings. Be sure to put the email addresses in the BCC field so the invitees can’t see the other email addresses. Although common nowadays, I do not suggest the use of text messages. When you send a text message to a group the responses will go to everyone.
You’ve had your guest list intact for weeks and it’s now time for your soiree. Your number one priority: make sure your guests are comfortable and happy. A few rules of thumb are to try to greet your guests at the door whenever possible. Take their coats, if necessary, and offer them a drink when they enter. You’ll want to let your guests know what drinks are being served as opposed to asking “what would you like to drink.”
Remember to include the non-drinkers in the group when planning; always have plenty of non-alcoholic cocktails on hand. A quick and easy option is flavored water such as Le Croix. Now that your guest has a drink, you should introduce him or her to other guests. This is the most important part of hosting. Keep in mind that when your guests accepted your invitation they were most likely looking forward to meeting new, fun, and interesting people. When you introduce people to each other share some facts about each person so that it’s easier for them to find something to talk about.
Upon arrival, many guests will bring appropriately bring you hostess gifts as a thank you for inviting them to your party. Before the evening begins you’ll want to designate an area for these items. Simply, take them from your guests, say thank you, and put the gifts in your designated area. You never want your guests to see their gift laying in a random place that could make it appear you did not appreciate the gift. If the gift is edible, remember, it is for you to enjoy later; no need to serve it at your event. Also, there is no need to send a thank-you note for these gifts.
As you know, one of my favorite quotes says “Be pretty if you can, be witty if you must, but be gracious if it kills you.” With that in mind, as the evening is draws to its close, try to position yourself so that you can say goodbye and thank your guests who are leaving. Typically, your guests will want to thank you for inviting them and express that they have enjoyed themselves. As you notice people starting to leave, you can stand near the door or in a more visible place so that your guests don’t have to search for you as they leave. Now that the night is done, you can congratulate yourself on creating a magical evening for your friends and loved ones. You opened your home and brought people together; it was a success and you impressed.
Olives, was this rundown helpful and relatable? Feel free to share some of your hosting experiences (good, bad, and ugly). Are there any hosting tips that I missed?
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